I too have been sentenced, but I know my time is almost up. Once I leave here I will forever be free of orange states.
I have done the good work down here. I have talked amongst the natives about their heathenous ways. I have preached the word straight from the good book as written by Mr. Grizzard. I fear that my efforts have fallen on deaf ears as the orange and blue fever appears to be a particularly virulent strain of stupid.
I will spread the good word far and wide until the day I am able to leave. Then I will likely never to return except to share a refreshing beverage and good times with the honorable wlayton over a proper football game.