tennesseestud, you have to have a FIRST thought, before you can have a last thought. You must have a pretty crappy trailer-trash life, that the only way you can feel good about yourself is to poke fun at others. God, it must suck, having to eat tinned meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, being given pity change by Wal-Mart employees and rubbing up against your little sister for thirty-five seconds of bliss to attempt to balance out the other twenty-three hours and fifty some-odd minutes that comprise your meaningless little orange life. Yep, it must be horrifying whenever a tornado hits your trailerpark, sifting through the remains and rubble, desperately trying to find your GED course equivalency certificate, the only thing in your life that means anything other than your prized Tee Martin jersey. But don't worry. At least you have Tennessee football to sustain you. Thank God for that. Thank God you have those three glory years to hold onto when you're watching your neighbor's television on the sly through your rusted-shut windows, clutching a moth-eaten blanket to your shoulders as you watch Peyton Manning blow yet another game in the playoffs, remembering that he couldn't win a championship at the college level either. Thank God you have this one victory on the year to take your mind off of the long wait tomorrow in the food stamp line, which of course would take precious time away from your ability to get on our forum and post idiotic obscenity-laced one-sentence contentless whoop-whoops for Tennessee.
Here's what I say: I hope Tennessee runs the table the rest of the season and gets to the SEC Championship game. I hope they win, win the Sugar Bowl, and finish #2 in the nation. I hope that you experience a wonderful year full of glory and football memories that will last you a lifetime. I want all of this for you, tennesseestud, because without it I fear you'll have absolutely nothing else in your pathetic life to live for. Enjoy your vicarious victory; I say vicarious because it's obvious you didn't make the team. You're not a member of the Tennessee football team, are you? Anyway, I hope that our defeat at your hands is a source of inspiration to you. Go Vols!
Me, I'll derive all of my pleasure from my wife and children. Or at least I'll try...after all, this one single loss has truly crushed my spirit. If only we had won so that I could get on humpingsmokey.com and insult you with 22 of the 24 hours in my day. As it is, you have every right to insult me. After all, the team that I root for did not beat the team that you root for. I'm sure that takes at least some of the sting out of your latest outbreak of herpes.
...good ol' Rocky Top...
Red and Black, Win or Lose
