Trash Talk R Us

A little humor from my uncle:


GET TO KNOW YOUR FAVORITE SEC TEAM!

(1) What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

.........Drool.



(2) What do you get when you put thirty-two Arkansas cheerleaders in
one
room?

.........A full set of teeth.



(3) How do you get a South Carolina cheerleader into your dorm room?

.........Grease her hips and push.



(4) How do you get a Ole Miss graduate off your porch?

.........Pay him for the pizza.



(5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a

girlfriend?

........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.



(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?

.........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.



(7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football player's
life?
........ .His freshman year.



(8) How many Florida Freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

.........None -- that's a sophomore course.



(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?

........ Baton Rouge , Louisiana . He knew that the police would never
look
at LSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.



AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?

.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
and
picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week

Very well stated! Very enjoyable and quite accurate with the exception of UK this year!

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on the Tennessee campus?

A: A visitor


Q: What is the difference between a Tennessee divorce and a Tornado?
A: I don’t know either, but someone’s gonna lose a trailer.


Q: What do tornadoes and Tennessee grads have in common?
A: They both always end up in trailer parks.


Q: What do you call an Tennessee grad wearing a suit and tie?
A: The defendant!


Q: If you have a car containing a Vol wide receiver, a Vol linebacker, and a Vol defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop


There was a couple who were getting a divorced, so the judge said to the child,“Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with your Dad?” “No, said the child, “he beats me.”“Do you want to live with your Mom then?” “No, she beats me too”.“Well who do you want to live with?” “I want to live with the Vols” said the little girl, “because they can’t beat anybody.


You can't spell Citrus without UT.-Steve Spurrier


Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and Neyland Stadium?
A: A porcupine has 108,000 pricks on the OUTSIDE.


\"I heard Phil Fulmer had his QBs,RBs,and WRs all working in the local bakery during the summer, because he wanted them to get used to turnovers\"


Q: What did the Knoxville City Council do to slow the birth rate down in Knoxville?
A: They outlawed family reunions.


GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good stuff, NC_Dawg.
That picture of Phil is hilarious.........and accurate.

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon. An Alabama fan, an Auburn fan, a Tennessee fan, and a GEORGIA BULLDOG FAN. They had argued all the way up the mountain who was the most die hard fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Tennesse fan proclaimed to the other three, \"This is for the Volunteers!\" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice, screaming Rocky Top as he fell to his death.

Not to be outdone by the Tennessee fan, the Alabama fan jumped up and shouted, \"This is for the Crimson Tide!\" and threw himself off the mountain screaming Roll Tide as he crashed on the rocks below.

Refusing to be outdone by the Tennesse and Alabama fans, the Georgia fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of HER lungs, \"This is for the Bulldogs!\" and without hesitation, pushed the Auburn fan off the mountain and started shouting---\"Fly, War Eagle, Fly!!\"

I like it !!!