Tennessee Vols 2005

As a BIG Georgia Fan and at most times I have a true dislike for the Tennessee Vols. The only time I can pull for 'em is in a bowl game when I become a true "SEC Fan." Being that I work with a bunch these guys that are constantly running their mouths about how great the Vols are no matter how bad they're stinking it up, I decided to sit down and surmise their 2005 season in my own words. Using quotes from some of those bozos I work with, and maybe one or two that I added myself, here's their season in review! Please share it with any Tennessee "friends" you may have.

Tennessee Vols 2005
That Championship Season?

This was a season that started out with so much promise. Starting quarterback Erik Ainge had been anointed the star that would take them to the next level. Whispers of a National Championship were on every breath. The smell of hotdogs & burgers permeate the air in the parking lot around historic Neyland Stadium as tailgate parties abound. Football season was finally here!

This is a game by game synopsis of a season that was so highly anticipated, but then suddenly turned into an ugly and grotesque nightmare for Volunteer fans everywhere. Ranked # 3 in the country
at the outset, no one could have imagined what was about to happen
in Knoxville.

Game 1) UAB @ Tennessee September 3, 2005

University of Alabama-Birmingham, unaware of the dangers of coming into Neyland Stadium on opening day in front of 105,000 delirious orange clad patrons, cautiously takes the field. Vol fans say this is nothing more than a “practice game.” Undaunted and definitely not intimidated by the sea of orange, little UAB puts up quite a fight. The fans raise an unsuspecting eyebrow at the inefficiencies of the Vol offense. But it’s quickly determined to be “off season rust.” The Vols hang on to chalk up the first “W” of the year. Afterwards, Volunteer fans are overheard saying, “Those Dragons are pretty TOUGH.” Tennessee 17 UAB 10.

Game 2) Tennessee @ Florida September 17, 2005

New coach Urban Meyer gets his first taste of “Rocky Top.” Championship talk among the orange clad masses is beginning to build. The Gators, with a new coach and new offensive scheme, isn’t supposed to challenge the mighty Vols. Struggling again offensively, Tennessee, led by quarterback Erik Ainge, manages only one touchdown. The defense plays well enough to pull out a victory, but turnovers and penalties quell any chance of pulling off a victory in the Swamp. And the Florida jinx prevails in the end. Vol fans proclaim, “they didn’t beat us, we beat ourselves.” They also say, “The Gators won’t win another game!” Same team different coach, same results. Florida 16 Tennessee 7
(By the way, the Gators finish the season 8-3 and are headed to the Outback Bowl.)

Game 3) Tennessee @ LSU September 26, 2005

After the nightmare in the Swamp, the Vols regroup to take on a very talented LSU team. “We won’t lose another game!” Vol fans proclaim. The Tigers get off to a fast start and stun the orange clad patrons that made the trip to Baton Rouge. Up 21-0 at the half, Vol fans were in a near state of panic. “What’s wrong with our offense?” One fan asks. Erik Ainge has a horrible first half. After a desperation pass landed in the arms of an LSU lineman and his subsequent waltz into the end zone, cries could be heard, “we want Clausen, “we want Clausen!” Their demands were met much to their delight and it appeared to be the right call as 2nd string quarterback Rick Clausen brings the Vols back for a stunning come from behind victory. Coach Fulmer hugs his quarterback at the end and says, “Rick is our guy!” Suddenly going back on an earlier statement that, “Erik is our guy.” Orange is everywhere on the highways and byways. Tennessee 30 LSU 27.


Game 4) Tennessee @ Ole Miss October 1, 2005

The Vols roll into Oxford on an unbelievable high. Championship talk is reaching a fever pitch. “Losing one game won’t keep us from a title” one fan says. Not much is needed to overcome an over-matched Rebel team. The Vols exert just enough muscle to get the job done and keep the “Big Orange” on track for the BCS Title. The Vols liken Ole Miss unto a very very small bump in the road. Orange is everywhere on the highways and byways. Tennessee 27 Ole Miss 10.

Game 5. Georgia @ Tennessee October 8, 2005

Neyland stadium is the setting for this classic SEC battle. The Dawgs come in undefeated with Championship aspirations of their own. After the defeat last year in Athens, the Dawgs have a little revenge in mind. They’re ready to show the Vols whose boss in the SEC East. Vol fans are quoted as saying, “they ain’t played nobody!” “We’ve got ‘em in our house!” “Our defense will kill Shockley!” “He’ll choke just like Greene did last year,” along with other such mutterings.” In the third quarter, Coach Fulmer nearly hyperventilates when Thomas Flowers takes a punt the distance that utterly shocks the 105,000 crammed into Neyland Stadium. Those dressed in orange suddenly find themselves with speech impediments. Except for one section of the stadium, an eerie silence befalls the sea of orange. The Dawgs completely dominate the fourth quarter, running roughshod over a very tired Tennessee defense. The Vols are given a complimentary touchdown at the end to pad their side of the scoreboard so it’d look closer than it really was. Georgia 27 Tennessee 14 A quite noticeable 25% reduction in the amount of orange seen on the highways and byways after the game.



Game 6) Tennessee @ Alabama October 22, 2005

“We won’t lose another game and we’re still in the hunt for a National Title” proclaim the orange faithful. (They never give up do they?) The Vols roll into Tuscaloosa, wounded and limping but still believing a title is in reach. “Bama has no offense” one fan is heard saying. “Their defense is good, but not as good as ours” says another. Tennessee’s ineptness on offense is becoming very apparent. Only managing a field goal in a defensive struggle, they succumb to that “defense that is not as good as ours.” Again the fans proclaim, “They didn’t beat us, we just gave ‘em the game.” ‘Bama fans are delirious. Low key rumors starting to circulate that the pungent odor rising from the offense is centered around Randy Sanders and his play calling. Alabama 6 Tennessee 3. After a close game, there’s only a 10% reduction in the amount of orange seen on the highways and byways.

Game 7) South Carolina @ Tennessee October 29, 2005

Things heard before the game… “We won’t lose to the Gamecocks…no way!” “By all means, we will not lose another game.” Championship talk is not quite as rampant as the week before. Spurrier and his young Gamecocks come in as the underdog, but leave Neyland Stadium the top “Cock.” With South Carolina taking the lead for good in the final minutes, Vol fans, some of them crying, others committing suicide, show the first signs of negativity. “It’s pretty bad when you lose to South Carolina.” By this time Randy Sanders’ hind end is really smokin’. He is definitely on the hot seat and it’s been turned on HIGH! It was the same ole ball coach, same ole results. Spurrier tries his best to shake Fulmer’s hand without smirking, but fails miserably. Unbelievably, Spurrier’s visor is as clean after the game as it was when he came in. South Carolina 16 Tennessee 15. There’s a 25% reduction in the amount of orange seen on the highways and byways.

Game 8) Tennessee @ Notre Dame November 5, 2005

Satisfied that their calls for Randy Sanders’ head have been met, Coach Fulmer announces he will call the plays the rest of the year. (More later on this). Desperate, the Vol fans proclaim, “We cannot and will not lose another game!” “Our bowl eligibility depends on us winning out!” Believe it or not, they finally realize that USC or Texas probably won’t lose 5 games apiece, so, Championship talk for this season finally ceases. Unheard of thoughts of another Peach Bowl creep into the minds of the dedicated, hard core, never say die fans that make the trip to South Bend. “Notre Dame ain’t played nobody!” (Here we go again). “Our defense is much better than theirs.” “If we can generate just a little tiny bit of offense, I think we can win this one.” “With Fulmer calling the plays, there’s no doubt we can get the job done,” they say. Notre Dame starts quickly, jumping to a 14-0 lead before Tennessee is able to sustain any resemblance of a drive. Although the Vols fight back and get within striking distance, the Irish flex their muscles and runs away with it at the end. “Maybe Randy Sanders wasn’t the problem after all,” some say. Fulmer calls the plays, same results. Notre Dame 41 Tennessee 21
There’s a 25% reduction in the amount of orange seen on the highways and byways.

Game 9) Memphis @ Tennessee November 12, 2005

“We will not lose another game!” This is starting to get old isn’t it?) As far as bowls go, the Peach Bowl wouldn’t have been all that bad now. The lowly Music City Bowl waits on the horizon if the Vols can win 2 of their last 3 games. Next on the agenda are the Memphis Tigers. Known for pulling off upsets against teams much more superior, the Tigers battle the Vols tooth and nail. After another lackluster performance on offense (Fulmer still calling the plays) the Vols manage to hold off the crippled Tigers and their Hail Mary pass at the end to prevail for the first time in 5 weeks. Did I mention Memphis was without their star running back DeAngelo Williams? One of the top rushers in the country was scheduled to start, but Coach Tommy West decides to keep him out of the game because of a sore ankle. One shutters at the thought of what could have happened if he’d been able to go. Tennessee 20 Memphis 16
There’s a 20% increase in the amount of orange seen on the highways and byways. (It doesn’t take much for those flags to start flying again.)

Game 10) Vanderbilt @ Tennessee November 19, 2005

Normally Vanderbilt is the right medicine for any team struggling either offensively or defensively. Not the case this year. Vandy comes in with some impressive numbers, particularly on offense. After nearly beating the Gators and then somehow losing to lowly Kentucky in a shootout, the Commodores officially are bowl ineligible. All they have left to play for is “the other bowl game.” A win over the Vols in Knoxville would go a long way in compensating for their bowl game shortcomings. The Vols own bowl eligibility is hanging in the balance on this game. “Music City bowl?....we’ll take it if we can get it” the fans shout. In a close game, All American quarterback Jay Cutler drives the final nail in the casket with the big orange “T” on it. A last second touchdown pass seals the fate of a team that will be home for the holidays. The inevitable has happened! Losing to the Commodores on their home turf could never have been imagined by the Tennessee faithful. As stark reality, coupled with shock and awe sets in, they realize that for the first time since coach Fulmer went behind the back of Johnny Majors and stole his job, they are suddenly “bowl ineligible.” Fulmer declares, “We have hit rock bottom!” “We have gone from the Rose bowl to the Toilet bowl and man do we stink!” The season is a total loss. Vanderbilt 28 Tennessee 24
The only orange visible on the highways and byways are from construction workers, state convict trash picker uppers and those big orange traffic cones.

Game 11. Tennessee @ Kentucky November 26, 2005

The Vols basically go through the motions in a game featuring a couple of nobodies with nothing to play for. Even Tennessee couldn’t lose to Kentucky….could they? Of course not. Kentucky flexes a muscle at the beginning, but can’t sustain the fight and the Vols finish off the most pathetic season in their recent memory. Tennessee 27 Kentucky 8. The Kentucky fans say, “See ya on the basketball court!” Fulmer says, “I wish we could go to a bowl game, we need the practice.”


Final Comments:

Some say the quarterback controversy at the beginning of the season was the undoing of this proud program. It’s Ainge, no, it’s Clausen. It’s Clausen, no, it’s Ainge. See what I mean? Never was there any continuity or chemistry established while they were playing “musical quarterbacks.” There is hope…..Jim Bob Cooter waits in the wings. With Rick Clausen graduating, he’s the next quarterback in the long line of hopefuls still trying to fill the shoes of Peyton Manning and Tee Martin, to take over the reigns. Ainge will either transfer, take up basketball, or go back home and become an umbrella salesman.

Every team has its ups and downs throughout a season. This year, the Vols were more down than up. It happens to all the great teams once in awhile. The Vols are down, but don’t count on them to stay down long. With all the talent they reap from Georgia, Florida, Alabama, California, Oregon, and where ever the heck they got Jim Bob Cooter, expect them to rise to the top in the very near future.

Sincerely,
A Dawg Fan

I LIKE your style!!!!! Good post, ..... I, like you, kept hearing from VOL fans at work how the POWER T would prevail and "whip" all comers. I've yet to find Mr. POWER T at work any more. I have been waiting with my question. "How painful was the surgery to remove all 6 of those Ts from his lower anatomy", of all the VOLs I work with this one is special and most deserving of the question.

You are right about UT, they will be back. How soon is up to them. These VOL folks are just as passionate about their school as we are about UGA. Got my new SEC Championship hat and Shirt to wear to work just for all the VOLs. Dang this is a great conference.

Merry Christmas DAWGS, be safe over the holidays.

You're right dude. They (Tennessee) are passionate about their football. Can't take that away from 'em no matter what. This is the best conference in college football and I'll argue that with anybody. I'd give anything if Auburn could have given Southern Cal the business last year. That would have been fun to watch! The level of competition is just so much tougher here in the south. I don't care what the "experts" say. I'll be pulling for every SEC school in the bowl games. I lay all "hatred" aside when it comes to that, even if it's Tennessee. But that's the only time! Unless of course it means something good for the Dawgs.

DH