Dear Kentucky Wildcats,
You may not want to show up on Saturday. Find something else to do. Go fishing with your dad. Buy flowers for your mom. Set your sister up with a blind guy so she's less self-conscious.
Here's the deal. I've been rooting for you the last couple of years, except for your games against us. Hey, you've been a team on the rise, right? You beat us in 2006, and beat eventual national champs LSU last year. But you're not doing so well this year. The team that just beat us by 39 beat you by 58. You only scored 21 against Arkansas, who's allowed an average of 32 points to their other opponents.
Did I mention that Florida just beat us by 39, then made fun of us afterwards and poured beer on our lady dawg fans? We're not in a very good mood. It's not your fault, we realize that. But come gameday, when that red haze comes over our eyes and our mouths get to foaming, we're going to lose sight of who's who and what's what. And it's not going to be pretty.
12:30 is really the beginning of a lovely afternoon. The sun is at its peak, the leaves are turning...I hear the Kentucky foothills are lovely in November. You might want to check those out. You might want to stay as far away from the UK campus as possible. Maybe you could go to a Wildcats basketball rally or something. I hear they should be better this year.
I'm only saying this out of concern for you, really. I don't root for anyone to get hurt, not even Tim Tebow. And you...you are going to get hurt on Saturday.
Anyway, be safe. You're good people up there. And if you do insist on playing, maybe put on an extra set of pads. Sure, they're bulky, but it'll hurt a lot less when we sic our angry, hurting, pride-stung Dawgs on you. Just looking out for your best interests.
Best Wishes,
Dapolla
Red and Black, Win or Lose