Dear Hairy Dawg

Hello. Thanks to the magic of modern technology (we don't call it internet stalking where I come from), I have been able to gain access to that head deity of the mascot pantheon, Hairy Dawg. He has told me that Dawgs.com and only Dawgs.com has been granted access to his gigantic and well-read mind. He has even encouraged me to begin this topic, or advice column if you will, where you loyal Georgia fans can write and ask Mr. Dawg questions about life, love, and what gator meat smells like on a spitfire grille. I'll start it off with a question that a current Dawgs.com reader sent in:

Dear Hairy Dawg,
I think I have a problem. No matter what I've tried to do this morning, I just can't stop watching Sportscenter on ESPN. Although I have other tasks that I need to get accomplished, I find myself inextricably drawn to their coverage of the UCLA-Tennessee game. Should I be worried?

Sincerely,

dapollAnonymous

Dear dapollAnonymous,

No, there's nothing wrong with you. In fact, you might just be the sanest Georgia fan I know. A long time ago, German philosophers discovered in the human condition a property called Schadenfreude, literally traslated as \"taking joy in the misery of others.\" And, while the German people found joy in the near-destruction of an entire race, we red-blooded college football fans experience Schadenfreude when a hated rival suffers a humiliating defeat. And I don't think I have to tell you that the Tennessee Volunteers are a pretty hated rival right now. Taking joy in their loss at the hands of a Pac-10 school with a brand new coach, a JuCo transfer QB and coming off of a 6-7 season...well, if you didn't do that, you'd have something wrong with you.

You're also probably pretty smart, dapollAnonymous. You notice patterns, like the fact that the last time Tennessee went out to the West Coast and lost, our Bulldogs won the SEC Championship and Vandy beat the Vols. Don't worry, dapollAnonymous. Just sit back and get ready for the Central Michigan game. And as usual, Go Dawgs!


-HD

Good post dapolla, but actually the Bawls lost to Cal last year in Berkeley.

Curses! It appears that Cocky was feeding Hairy false information to give us a false sense of confidence. I'll make sure that that line of communication is cut off (and, of course, that Hairy double-checks all of his information before posting it.)

Hairy Dawg is always ready to read and answer your questions. Please submit them in the form of a posting here.

Nice dapolla, been a long time fan of yours. Go dawgs!!

Dapolla,

I think Hairy Dawg missed something. There's a little known clause on the application form to membership in the Bulldawg nation that requires \"any member of the Dawg Nation to rejoice in the failings of any team wearing orange.\" I'm not sure exactly which line, but it's there. It's known as the Serendipity Clause. Schadenfreude actually introduces the concept of guilt, but serendipity (a joyful discovery) requires no guilt whatsoever.