As the team is just winding down it's post game meeting, distraught from it's woeful performance and ready to sleep on it, going to bed having been told the usual motivational bs by the coaching staff like \"tomorrow's another day\" and \"it ain't over 'till its over\" and all that other crap that losers say to console themselves, Coach perno needs to pull aside Moreau, Weaver, McCree, and Fields and say \"come with me boys\" and hand each one of them blindfolds and instruct them to put them on.
They will then be led out to a limo, and Erin Andrews will be waiting inside. She will be teasing them and flirting with them the whole time and getting them all nice and worked up like the hot young studs that they are.
The limo will then arrive at Borsheims, that jewelry store in Omaha owned by the Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffet. Buffet, an avid CWS fan himself, will greet them at his store and let them in, where they're the only ones there.
They make some small talk and then Buffet points to one of his cases in the private collection and gives Erin a key and instructs her to bring him \"the shoe.\" She does as she is told and pulls out a large, size 10 Waterford Crystal slipper, modeled after the drawings used to make the Disney Movie, Cinderella.
The boys, still blindfolded, hear Erin Andrews whisper in a sexy voice \"come with me,\" and she proceeds to lead them down a secret passage way to a large, hidden dungeon-like stone chamber underneath the store that Mr. Buffet reserves for times when desperate measures like these are called for.
Mrs. Andrews then grabs each of them and slaps a pair of handcuffs on them and smacks their asses and tells them she likes it rough and instructs them to bend over the large stone altar in the middle of the room. Being the college boys that they are, they do not question this because, wtf? it's Erin Andrews and they are the luckiest men alive. Then they quickly find their feet shackled and their legs spread wide, bending over the altar with their hands behind their back.
The blindfolds are then removed and there is Erin Andrews standing before them in all her glory. But wait! She's brought a special quest. It's that little guy who played Minime in Austin Powers, and he's got this giant Cinderella mask on. Erin pulls out the crystal slipper and hands it to Minime and says \"lube it up good now, gotta have these guys ready for the big game. Can't have any tears.\"
Minime takes the crystal slipper and proceeds to pound it forcefully in and out of each of the Dawg pitcher's anuses. They scream and holler, but Warren Buffett assures Coach Perno that his special room is sound-proof and what happens down here stays down here.
As the boys are laying there sore and bleeding with their pride broken, Coach Perno approaches them and says:
\"Now boys, this is what it feels like to get screwed by Cinderella after you take her glass slipper. Next time, Warren here will have one of those cleets available that Hersheiser and Patrick keep going on about, so we can do the Cinderella in cleets version if we have to.
\"So, if you don't want to feel something like this ever again, and you don't want your teammates to ever have to feel it either, then I suggest you get out there and pitch like you know you can pitch and not let Fresno State put too many runs on the board so our offense can win it for us, because this is exactly what a loss to Fresno State in the College World Series Championships is going to feel like, for you, me, your teammates, your fans, your classmates back at school, and everyone at home watching.\"
