Dear Will MusCHUMP,
I’m writing to explain to you about opening your mouth and letting stupidity fall out.
Namely:
1. Don’t ever dishonor your alma mater and
2. Don’t ever guarantee a win unless you provide an outcome should you fail to produce the guaranteed result.
Of course, what I’m speaking about are the remarks you have leveled at the University of Georgia.
First, to describe the years you spent at the university as a momentary lapse in your sanity makes YOU look bad, not the university. It makes YOU, MusCHIMP look like the idiot, not the university. It makes YOU look small, not the university. Think about what you said, and think about how it makes you look. If the remarks were made in jest, it makes you look all the MORE stupid. Endeavor not to be stupid, MusCHUMP.
Next, you guaranteed a win. I don’t really care that you did it against your former team, and my lifelong team – it doesn’t matter who you did it to. When Joe Namath guaranteed a win over the Colts, it was stupid to do it then (regardless of outcome) and it’s still stupid. Why? Because Joe AND YOU failed to say what the other side of the guarantee was. For example, your guaranteed win over Georgia wouldn’t be so stupid if you had said,” I guarantee a win over Georgia, OR I WILL RESIGN AS HEAD COACH OF THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA”. Or if you had said, “I guarantee a win over Georgia, OR I WILL REFUND EVERYONE’S TICKET PRICE AT THE GAME.” Or, “if we don’t beat Georgia, I WILL LEAVE THE UNITED STATES AND GO LIVE IN A GRASS HUT ON SOME ISLAND IN THE SOUTH ATLANTIC OCEAN.” Say it any one of THOSE ways, and your guarantee at least has some teeth to it. Instead, the way you said it, if you lose, you simply failed. And looked like an idiot doing it.
So far there are no ex-Navy Seals. There is only one ex-Marine, Lee Harvey Oswald. I can so far think of only two ex-Bulldawgs – Pat Dye and you. He said we weren’t “man enough”. You have made a meaningless guarantee. Interesting how ex-Bulldogs have something in common – they both open their mouths and let stupidity spew out.
When it comes to saying stupid things, we are all guilty at one time or another. The best policy when that happens is to stop.
Just some friendly advice to one of the only ex-Bulldogs.
thriller